Extra

For those keeping score at home, it has been thirty-three years since I sat in my high school Geometry class. The only thing I remember about it is that instead of taking notes during class, I would work on whichever story I was writing at the time.

That and the teacher thought my BFF and I were cheating off each other because we both got the same exact grades on our tests. I mean, I get that, but our grades were bad so wouldn’t we be smart enough to cheat off people making good grades?

Anyway, we got vindication when she separated us and we STILL made the same exact (bad) grade.

I managed to pass the class with a C or a D (I blocked the whole experience out don’t remember) and then put the whole ugly mess behind me.

Fast forward thirty-three years. Shane is taking Geometry, which is absolutely not his choice, nor mine. I would much rather he take a basic math class with skills like budgeting, bank accounts and taxes, but our local school district would rather they learn fancy things like the Pythagorean Theorem.

Look, I know the United States is trying to compete with all these other countries that stress upper-level educations. I know they are trying to gear education towards those who are college-bound. The fact of the matter is, not everyone is going to go to college and not everyone should. It isn’t for everybody, and I don’t mean that in a derogatory way. Everybody has different talents and skills.

My kiddo happens to have a more creative mind. I have no doubt he is going to accomplish great things in the world of the arts. Colleges are not geared towards the type of mind he has, nor the skills he needs. That’s why he goes to Tech school.

I mean, I went to college and still never used Geometry. I was a liberal arts major. I did a ton of reading and learned all kinds of useless interesting information about languages, origins of language, dialects, etc. Not once was Geometry needed.

So why require it for ALL kids to graduate???

It is what it is, though. So I found myself trying to help him with his Geometry this last week, and found myself to be sorely lacking in any of the knowledge necessary to help him with his assignments.

Shane and I sat on his bed together and looked at the page. Mr. Luna was laying on the bed beside us and I imagined this conversation (because it was more interesting than figuring out the Chinese that might as well have been on the page in front of us):

Luna: Watcha doin’, Mama?

Me: Helping Shane with his Geometry.

Luna: What’s he working on?

Me: Identifying which polygon has been flipped 90 degrees counterclockwise.

Luna: Why?

Me: Because Broken Arrow Public Schools requires you to know shit like this in order to graduate.

Luna: How many times have you flipped a polygon in your adult life?

Me: Never.

Luna: How many times have you used Geometry in your adult life?

Me: Exactly twice.

Luna: How many times have you had to figure out your taxes?

Me: Every year since I was nineteen.

Luna: And now those taxes are paying for your kid to learn how to flip polygons.

Me: Yep.

Luna: Tell him good luck with that valuable skill.

See? Even the cat knows!

As Luna continued to oversee the ridiculousness of it all, I finally resorted to pulling up YouTube and together, Shane and I learned just enough Geometry to be dangerous.

I do have to toot my own horn, though, by informing you all that there was a problem Shane was having trouble with where he had to solve for “x” and I actually figured it out without having to Google the answer.

Naturally, I had to flaunt my prowess with The Husband Dude.

THD: What are you smiling at?

Me: I just solved for X.

THD: Uh-huh.

Me: I have the X Factor! I am Generation X! I’m going to join the X-Men!

THD:

Me: I am eX-cellent!!!!

THD:

Also Me:

Apparently, I’m also E-X-TRA!

Stay weird, my friends. Normal is boring!