Angel Who Swears

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Freak.

Eff It Friday – Southern Edition

By: 24 Comments

I’m in a pissy mood this week. I can’t quite put my finger on what the problem is. I know it isn’t hormones because I don’t have any and the ones they give me to take are a pretty low doseage that keep me pretty even-keeled most of the time.

I also know it’s not stress because my new job is not particularly stressful at the moment and I like everybody I work with. Also, there are no family dramas currently ongoing that would be causing stress.

Regardless, though, I found myself feeling particularly prickly the other day when a friend commented in a Facebook group about her hatred toward a particular food blogger/author/TV personality who happens to be from right here in Oklahoma. It wasn’t so much what she said or even that she expressed her deep dislike for this particular “celebrity”. It was the ensuing comments and discussion.

I get that there are different strokes for different folks. Everybody’s different. I might like something that you might hate and vice versa. No biggie. I’m a live-and-let-live kind of person.

But this got under my skin.

There were comments about the way she talks, and even though my friend tried to say that it was not her dialect, that it was just her, the comments made by the others still pointed toward the fact that the way this woman speaks is annoying.

She sounds pretty much like every other Northeastern Oklahoman I’ve ever met.

She sounds like me, the transplanted Texan who has spent the last twenty years in Northeast Oklahoma.

There were some remarks about her “down-homey, little-woman” persona.

The same persona that is lived by people I grew up with.

People I know.

People I love.

I’m not going to lie. It stung. It stung more than I typically will allow things to sting.

I know I myself have this I-really-don’t-give-a-shit-about-other-people’s-opinions persona…but I have a VERY soft spot for anything that reminds me of my parents and grandparents, aunts and uncles. It really hurts when I feel those things are made fun of or are treated as an inferior way to be.

I’m a city girl, but I come from country people. I would’ve grown up on the same farm my father grew up on had he not made the decision to sell his part of it when I was born. His siblings were all selling off their pieces and he and my mother didn’t have the heart to watch it all go, bit by bit, so they sold it and moved to “the city”.

I mean, they were so country that neither of my parents were born in a hospital. They were both born at home. In fact, I still have the headboard to the bed my father was born in. I still have the cast iron wash pot his mother used to wash laundry in with a wash board and the iron she put over the fire to iron clothes with.

I know that neither my friend nor the others in the group were specifically targeting people who are “country” but still…it stung.

When I was in the fourth grade, a mean girl in my class pinched me really hard on the arm for no reason. When I yelled at her for pinching me, she spent the rest of the day making fun of me for the way I said “peench” instead of “pinch”. I said it the way my parents said it and I couldn’t understand why she so hatefully thought that was funny.

That’s kind of how that whole post and the conversation that followed felt. One person mentioned her overpriced kitchen items and I thought about the kitchen items I own from her line because I happened to like the color or pattern. One participant said that the blogger herself didn’t bother her but watching the recipe in the accompanying video “made her bowels hurt”.

Ummm…half my recipes kind of look like that one.

Jesus.

I finally spoke up and didn’t so much defend the blogger in question as I explained that she is kind of a BIG DEAL around here and that people come from miles around and wait for hours in line just to have lunch in her restaurant or to visit her shop. I don’t know why I felt like I needed to do that. I’m not particularly a fan of this “celebrity”. I don’t follow her as a fan, but I know a lot about her because in this part of the world, she’s really well-known.

I didn’t mention that she still lives on a working cattle ranch out in the middle of nowhere and that her TV show is recorded there, not in Hollywood or New York or even Nashville. I didn’t mention that she put her restaurant and shop in a 100-year-old building in a small rural town here and that her business has single-handedly saved its economy. I didn’t mention that she is known to come out and greet people in line, waiting to get into the restaurant, and that she takes selfies with them and that she doesn’t act like the asshole a lot of celebrities act like.

I didn’t mention any of those things because I didn’t feel like being outnumbered on an opinion and it really isn’t important enough to be upset about…and yet, I was still upset.

I did say something like, “I’m glad y’all can’t hear me talk because I’m pretty sure I sound just like her.” I intentionally threw the “y’all” in there because even though I don’t typically write that way, I DO speak that way all the time. My comment evoked “laughing” emojis.

And then, a very condescending comment from one: “You’re fine, I’m sure.”

I’m fine?

You’re sure?

Fuck you.

I remember telling my mother about Jill, the mean girl who “peenched” me and then made fun of my accent.

She sniffed and looked at me and said in her best Texas drawl, “Jill is a miserable little girl, probably because her mama doesn’t pay too much attention to her and because she has had too many step-daddies. She has to take her misery out on other people, and today was your day. Bless her heart.”

Then, she mumbled something about Jill’s mama needing a revolving door on her bedroom, which I didn’t understand at the time.

I guess the gist of the original post was that this celebrity comes off as fake and over the top with her down-home persona. I don’t see her that way, but maybe it’s because EVERYBODY HERE IS JUST LIKE HER and I’m just used to it.

In any case, I think it bothered me even more that I let it bother me in the first place. I have no idea why it rubbed me so wrong, but it did. I didn’t even say anything else to my friend or the group, because I have no idea what to say, and I didn’t want to make a mountain out of a molehill.

So instead, I’m passively-aggressively writing about it here for the world to read.

I don’t have a good ending to this story, or any lessons or morals to glean from this experience. I just know I’m still feeling pissy and I’ve been pouting a little. I’m still allowed to do that at age forty-eight, right?

Stay weird, my friends y’all. Normal is boring.

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Comments

  1. I watch her all the time and never thought she was particularly country or over the top. OMG, I must be country or over the top too!!

    Reply

    • It was one of those situations where I started questioning myself and how I come across, and then I got pissed off because I was questioning myself and how I come across!

      Reply

  2. Was it Ree Drummond?

    Because she kind of makes me want to slap her upside the head. I thought her book (Black Heels to Tractor Wheels) was cute but I’ve watched her show a few times and I can’t stand her.

    Not because of her accent or anything else. It’s just her as a PERSON that makes me want to smack the crap out of her.

    Reply

    • Like I said…different strokes for different folks. But when you see someone who has the same traits/characteristics as yourself or people you love and then others hate on them, it’s hard not to take it personally!

      Reply

  3. Yeah.

    I know what you mean. There’s just something about her though that makes me want to slap her. Maybe because it’s the way she’s over the top cutesy a nd I HATE that.

    Also..new meds are working SO damn well. . I was really in a downswing when I left The Dungeon Of Loom. Like, I had no idea how bad it was but I knew it was REALLY bad. And I didn’t know if it would ever get better since this new insurance is new to us and I didn’t know what drugs they’d allow me to have to make shit better.

    Do you think they’d be accepting if I decided to come back, seeing as I kind of flounced out of there like..IDK..a thing that goes all flouncey?

    After doing some research, I may also need to go to a shrink or whatever. I think (though IANAD so what the fuck do I know?) I may have Bipolar II. Which that’s fun, right?

    Reply

    • I’m an admin in that group so I would accept you if you ask to join (we’re called The Skirmish is Actual now) so just look us up and send a request.

      Look, we all go through shit. Nobody is going to judge you for leaving and working on yourself. I’m no shrink, but I could tell that you were suffering back then, so I think it couldn’t hurt to talk to a professional and get an educated opinion about it. The good news is, there’s so much they can do to help you now. Don’t suffer in silence!

      Reply

  4. I absolutely love her! I start every morning watching her show so much so that when my husband gets up he says good morning to me and good morning to her lol! I often wonder why people feel the need to throw up their opinion to everyone puke bucket that will listen. I ain’t got time for that shit ya’ll! Why can’t people just keep their shitty feelings to themselves?
    Ps, see the name of my blog? Guess who I am inspired by?

    Reply

  5. I think I would have raised my left eyebrow at them and asked why so effing catty? What did that woman ever do to HER to deserve that?

    Reply

  6. I agree 100% – you don’t have to like someone but there’s no need to pile on people; even if they rub you the wrong way.

    I did have to laugh about “peench” vs. “pinch” though (not the bullying part though and your mom was 100% correct in her assessment of that girl’s behavior) – only because my husband, who was born and raised in New York state, says “peench.” I don’t know if he got it from his parents (who were also born in New York) because I don’t think I’ve ever heard them say the word.

    Reply

  7. You said “cattle ranch” and “TV show” and I instantly knew who you were talking about. I’ll admit, her persona does come across a little forced on her show (at least to me), but I like her recipes so who really cares if her persona is real or not? Besides, it’s TV, and everything is gonna be at least a LITTLE forced on TV. I’d like to see anyone in that comment thread cook a meal and NARRATE THE STEPS COHERENTLY with giant TV cameras in their face. I bet they couldn’t do it without sounding like they had a two-by-four shoved up–*AHEM*

    Although I remember once seeing her use a knife on a cake pan or something like that. I just screamed at the TV because, “UGH YOU ARE GOING TO RUIN THAT PAN!” Every time I watch her show, that haunting memory floats around in the back of my mind. Knives on pans (especially cake pans and other nonstick cookware) is my kryptonite. Still, good food is good food, and everything she makes looks down home delicious, so forget the haters and pass the gravy.

    Anyway, I’m really sorry that stupid people upset you. Talking crap about how someone talks, especially if it’s a regional accent, is just rude.

    And that, “You’re fine, I’m sure,” comment? Hooooooo I’d have thrown some internet hands. Like, I’m soooo glad I have your approval, you overripe banana. Ugh.

    Reply

  8. Kat,
    Meanness always makes me sad, except when it’s directed toward me or a loved one. Then meanness begets meanness! Condescension’s never endeared anyone to me either. I remember when one of my daughter’s friends was telling us how her mother was taking classes to get rid of her accent because she didn’t want people to think that she was uneducated. It’s not the accent. Sometimes…it’s just the ignorance that people refuse to have educated out of them that’s the problem. Accent has nothing to do with that. I know some highly educated people, who are also very kind people, who have magnificently thick drawls. I would never want to get into an argument concerning their field of expertise or think that they were uneducated because of their accent! Wow. For those looking to try and find a way to belittle others to make themselves feel better, they can keep trying, but it’s never going to fix that huge hole of insecurity inside. Personally, I’m proud of who I am and where I come from and the mannerisms and dialects and accents that speak to that. People can tease or make fun all they want. They’re usually not my kind of people and never will be, and I’ll never be their kind of people and would never want to be. Out of everything, the way you make people feel, good or bad, is what people will remember most about you. Unfortunately, I have to constantly remind myself of this because my natural tendency isn’t toward kindness and I get into trouble pretty damned regularly. A great big Texas hug to you, my friend and neighbor! 🙂 Mona

    Reply

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