Angel Who Swears

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Freak.

It’s Not A Stroke. It’s Just Adulthood.

By: 15 Comments

What a weird week.

Have you ever had one of those weeks that felt like an out of body experience? Like, you know you’re awake, but you sort of feel like you’re dreaming and you’re lightheaded but feeling like a weight is on you and you’re just kind of hovering over yourself, watching the action but not really participating.

No?

Maybe I’m just having a stroke.

There are things I can’t talk about and don’t know if I’ll ever be able to talk about in much detail, but I try to be honest with you all when I’m writing this blog, so here I am.

Having a weird week or having a stroke.

I’m leaning towards weird week because I don’t think it takes a week to have a stroke. Also, my speech is a little wonky under the best of circumstances and I’ve never been terribly coordinated, so it’s difficult to judge. I’m going to take this test now and let you know.

Ok, so I passed the test. Or maybe I failed it. I’m not sure how to quantify my results. If I don’t have symptoms, does that mean I passed the F.A.S.T. test or did I fail it?

I didn’t have to have anyone call 911, so there you go. I’m just having a weird week.

It’s really disappointing when you leave high school only to discover that most workplaces are just like high school, except there are paychecks involved. Come to think of it, social media is just like high school too.

Actually…all of adulthood is like high school, just with more body parts that have succumbed to gravity.

The backstabbing, gossiping, lies, drama…I sometimes feel like I’m on a show called The Real Housewives of Insert-Name-of-Whatever-Here and I can’t trust anybody or anything because they’re all a bunch of power-hungry attention whores, vying for their moment in the spotlight. And that’s just other moms.

Just kidding. I don’t talk to other moms.

All kidding aside, I’m eating my feelings in a really bad way. We ordered Jimmy John’s today and after my sandwich, I ate a triple chocolate chunk cookie that was 410 calories. Then, I found out from a coworker that he hunts and kills elephants, so now I’m not just fat, I’m outraged.

That cookie was pretty delicious, though.

I hope Karma runs him over with a stampede of elephants, hurling triple chocolate chunks at him.

I don’t have an ending to this story. I’m just feeling this right now:

angela bassett car on fire

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Comments

  1. Adulthood SUCKS. Sometimes.

    And I frequently have moments where I’m like, “Uhh…” because I can’t remember the word for spoon (or whatever). I blame it on the fibro, frankly, because “fibro fog” is a thing.

    And I remember one time a coworker and I got into a surprisingly deep discussion on why The Real Housewives of (wherever) weren’t actually housewives because yes, they had a house and yes, they were married but they all were rich as God so they probably had nannies and maids and shit and didn’t have to lift much of a finger around the house like a real housewife (aka US) would have to do.

    Reply

  3. Kat,
    It sounds like you’ve had at the very least, a trying week, and it’s been a short week. Ugh. Even though you can’t go into details on your blog, I hope you can sit a spell and write about what’s what in your life. I know that sometimes that’s the only way I can process all the shit and my emotions! One minute at a time, alcoholic beverage at the end! I hope your weekend proves much better, my friend! Cheers! Mona

    Reply

  4. It’s a shame there isn’t an open season on moronic co workers. You could borrow that guys’s elephant gun and weed out the worst. Until then, breathe deeply, be thankful it’s Friday and try to enjoy the weekend. Stroke free of course…

    Reply

  5. I have a co-worker I’d love to throw an Elephant at but I have too much respect….for elephants.

    Now….how do I get a notice when you reply to me? I’m not getting any…………….

    Oh, I get it. I have to re read your blogs to find them………..? lol. Ok!!! They make me giggle ……

    Reply

  6. My week sucked too. I lost $11,000 and I was NOT gambling. Someone hired me to watch their kids and the day before they were going to start they decided to switch gears. I JUST turned down other jobs last week. Technically this ass is not a coworker, but in my line of work it is the equivalent. Yesterday was the first day I put on mascara all week because I figured the crying had subsided. Hope things look up for you and glad it was not a stroke!

    Reply

    • That’s terrible. That’s a lot of money. I’m not quite at that point, but I can tell you I’ve been crying off and on since Thursday, so I feel you on the mascara thing. Let’s hope we both go in a better direction soon!

      Reply

  7. Problem with co-workers is they have no common sense, at least the ones I have worked with. Interviewed for a position in an elementary school one time and they asked me what my biggest failing is, without hesitation I replied patience. The interviewer laughed and said I might want to do something other than work with kids. I explained to him I have all the patience in the world with kids, it’s the adults I’d like to strangle LOL

    Reply

  8. Wow. You are going through some shit, aren’t you? Life does suck sometimes, but everything passes doesn’t it? Kidney stones, bowel movements, and crappy situations. Keep the faith, lady!

    Reply

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