Eff It Friday – Shit My Boss Says Edition

It has been a week. 

I’m tired.

This is my day job’s busy season. While that’s a good thing in terms of my paycheck, it does wear a person out.

It has left me without much patience, though, which would explain my behavior earlier this week.

As I was leaving work for a pedicure very important appointment, I pulled up to a stoplight alongside a school bus full of middle-school-aged kids. Just as I started to pull up alongside, one of them threw something out the window that made a “thud” against the roof of my car. I have no idea what it was but I whipped my head around to look up at the windows of the bus and this little twat of a girl was smiling and waving at me. Her window was down.

As an adult, one would expect that I would flag down the driver or write down the bus number or any number of mature things that could be done.

One would be wrong.

Instead, Psycho-Kat™ rolled her window down and proceeded to call a 12 or 13 year old girl names I’m not sure she had ever heard before and introduced her to a whole new world of profanity. I’m guessing she had either never heard those words before or she didn’t expect them to come out of a middle aged woman’s mouth, because she kind of looked like this:

 

After her initial shock wore off, though, her reaction became this:

So, of course, I responded in kind:

And that’s pretty much how we spent the next thirty seconds as we waited for the light to change. After we pulled away from the light, I took note of the bus number so that I could call the school district at a later time, which I did.

Don’t judge. I never claimed to be mature. Plus, I’ve told The Husband Dude that the reason I dye my hair red all the time is that I require a warning label. You just never know how I’ll react to something. 

I know you may be thinking I acted crazy. After all, she was just a teenager acting like an asshole  the way teenagers do, but what she did was dangerous and if she had dented or otherwise damaged my car, that’s vandalism. If you think I’m crazy, we’re all just really lucky THD wasn’t with me. 

I once watched THD run across an entire apartment complex, chasing down a couple of thugs who stole a cheap-ass plastic ornament off our front porch. I’m pretty sure if a projectile came out of a bus window and hit THD’s car, THD would’ve jumped out the car and possibly ripped the doors off of the bus in question. 

So relatively speaking, my red hair and I are not as crazy as the bald Italian guy.

The other reason this week was hard was we were told to filter our language while in the common places at work. We have some new people in the building and people who are not accustomed to spending as much time in our building, and my boss doesn’t want anybody offended by the foul colorful language we are accustomed to throwing around because we are bad people that’s how we roll.

I know what you’re thinking. How am I not going to get fired? I mean, bad language is to Kat as breathing is to mammals. It’s like holding in a fart…that shit’s gonna blow at some point.

After two days of “oh fudge”, “heck you” and “cheese and crackers”, I sent the following text to my boss:

In a few minutes, he popped his head into our office:

Him:  You can cuss in here with the door shut.

Me: It’s not the same. You’re going to force me to use even more bad words when I blog.

Him: The title of your next post can be, “My Shitty Fucking Asshole Boss Won’t Let Me Cuss”.

Me: That’s a great title.

Him: Just give me credit for it.

Now you see why we get along so well. We speak the same language.

So my adventures this week  inspired a couple of creations in my Zazzle shop. Check them out below and remember…Stay weird, my friends. Normal is boring!