Eff It Friday

The Husband Dude has an endearing term for every day of the week. Well…it’s endearing if you’re Mary Poppins, which he kind of is. If you’re Karen from Will and Grace, like I am, it can make you drink more.

That’s what I love about him, though. He has always been the sunshine to my rain cloud. The unicorn to my dragon. The Big Bird to my Oscar the Grouch.

I wish I could tell you what all his days of the week are, but I can only remember Marvelous Monday, Terrific Tuesday and Wonderful Wednesday. Usually by Thursday and Friday, I’m rolling my eyes so hard that the sound of it drowns him out.

When he kisses me goodbye in the morning before he heads off for work, our exchanges go something like this:

THD: Today is Terrific Tuesday. That means terrific things are going to happen to you!

Me:

THD: Tell all your friends at work! Terrific things are going to happen to them!

Me:

If I walked in to work all chipper and sang, “It’s Terrific Tuesday! That means terrific things are going to happen to you!” I’m pretty sure they would call 911 and report that I’m having a stroke.

I’ve decided that since today is Friday, and I’m kind of a killjoy, I’d give Friday my own name but I haven’t decided between “Fuck It Friday” or “No More Fucks Friday” because they’re both applicable.

Fuck It Friday is a strong choice because it’s pretty much my mantra by the end of the work week. If you’re a customer at my day job, Friday is probably a good day to contact me because I may write you a check and give away the company. That’s just how much I don’t give a damn, anymore.

On the other hand, if you’re calling to complain, you may end up with this…

which is why No More Fucks Friday is also a good choice. Let’s face it, by Friday, we’re all pretty spent.

A lot of my blogging friends designate a day of the week for certain categories of blog posts. Katie over at Fatty McCupcakes has a feature called WTF Wednesday where she rants about things that have irritated her over the past week. Allen over at Das Midnight Goose Blog goes in a different direction with his Yum Yum Friday recipe and cooking posts. 

I don’t see any reason why Angel Who Swears can’t do Eff It Friday…the day when we have no more Fucks to give.

It may not be a feature I do every Friday, but I definitely have enough material to do this often…with more material coming forth every week!

To commemorate my first Eff It Friday, I’m going to repost something I wrote on Facebook a couple of years ago. I don’t normally like to post anything political here, because politics are so divisive, and I want this little space on the Internet to be your five minute vacation away from all that. This post, however, took jabs at “both sides”, liberals and conservatives (because politically, I consider myself a centrist and have leanings both ways, depending on the subject), so I feel that there’s something here for everyone, regardless of your politics.

You will find a lot of the same themes and tone as my post on Tuesday about the Imbecile Apocalypse, including throwing myself into a pack of walkers. I’ve never contemplated suicide, but apparently, that’s my method of choice. As for why I seem to be on this “kick”, I guess it’s just that kind of week.

We were knee deep in the last election, which usually causes me to mute most of my friends on social media, or risk suffering a brain hemorrhage, to the point that the only thing showing up in my news feed are kitten videos and pictures of everybody’s dinner. I was terribly disillusioned with our choices of candidates and with the tone of the entire process. I thought watching The Olympics that year would be a great respite from the idiocy, but alas, I was sadly mistaken. Thus, the rant you are about to read.

Just fuck it.

There’s Nothing Worth Saving Here

Originally posted to my personal Facebook on August 16, 2016 at 3:15 p.m.

I’m done. Seriously. Done. Be forewarned, I’m about unleash my inner Clint Eastwood and this post will NOT be “pussified”. This post will contain “strong language”. Parental Discretion is advised.

There is no hope left for humanity. It only took 45 years and the Olympics to convince me. Yes, the Olympics…that wonderful event every two years (winter and summer) that is SUPPOSED to bring together the whole world in the spirit of sportsmanship and healthy competition. As with most things these days, it has brought out the haters and the trolls and the world has found ANOTHER way to be divisive rather than united.

Hey, Liberals, quit your bitching about the fact that the first U.S. Medal was won by a teenager in shooting. “Oh the irony!” Shut up already. We live in a country where the second amendment gives us the right to bear arms. Passing laws will not get rid of them. The toothpaste is already out of the tube. The guns are already here. Remember how well Prohibition worked? Or the war on drugs has worked? How about working with conservatives to pass and maintain laws that don’t punish law-abiding citizens and address the mental health issues that cause people to shoot up schools in the first place?

And hey, Conservatives, before you get smug, let’s talk about all of you bitching about an American Muslim wearing a hijab under her fencing mask. Shut up already. Put on your big girl/boy panties and accept the fact that NOT ALL AMERICANS ARE WHITE OR CHRISTIAN. We are a diverse country. Deal with it and open your mind to understanding that everybody is not like you and it would be damned boring if they were.

And don’t even get me started on the trolls that are body-shaming the gymnasts or the idiots that take away all the credit from the female athletes and gives it to their husbands or say things like, “She swims like a man!”

Fuckers.

But what do you expect? We have announced to the world that the best we have to offer as our future leader is Hillary “How does this email thingy work again? Der duh der!” Clinton and Donald “My feelings got hurt on Twitter so I’m having a temper tantrum…and by the way, please shoot my opponent!” Trump.

SERIOUSLY?!?!

THERE IS NO HOPE FOR US. I’m not recycling anymore and I’m going to consume as many natural resources as I possibly can in a lifetime because THERE’S NOTHING HERE WORTH SAVING. I’m going to single-handedly tear open that hole in the ozone layer like a kid opening his PS4 on Christmas morning. Burn baby burn! Because what are we trying to save here? There’s nothing redeemable left.

When the zombie apocalypse happens I’m leading the charge TOWARD the zombies with a sign that says “Free Buffet!” and when I become one of the walking dead I’m going to take as many human idiots as possible with me.

At the First Annual Hunger Games, I volunteer as Tribute!

Better yet, let’s not wait to see who wins the election. Let’s just go ahead and give Trump the codes to the nukes so that the next time he gets butt-hurt by a hard-hitting question like, “Can you give us your plan on ANYTHING?” he’ll reduce our planet back to a cold, lifeless rock that glows in the cosmos like Burning Man in the desert.

And only the cockroaches and Keith Richards will remain.

Do I think we could do something about it? Sure…we COULD. But we won’t. Because humans are more comfortable when they point at others and feel morally superior. Everybody getting along and appreciating their differences? Where’s the fun in that? Let’s just fight about everything and let’s not even try to understand each other’s point of view. Because we’re REALLY good at that. One would even say we’re morally superior that way.

(These statements are the sole opinion of Angry Kat and do not necessarily reflect the views of Happy Kat….

unless it’s Friday.

And I’m at work.

And it’s hotter than Hell outside.)

Incidentally, this post garnered 28 “likes” from my friends, ranging from the leftist of the left to the rightest of the right. 

Which, of course, can only mean that the one true solution to uniting the world is my snarkiness. Just another service I offer!

Stay weird, my friends. Normal is boring.

What’s YOUR Eff It Friday rant???