On the First Day of Christmas, what the heck happened to me?
A kitty in my Bradford Pear Tree.
On the Second Day of Christmas, what the heck happened to me?
Two bedazzled gloves and a kitty in my Bradford Pear Tree.
On the Third Day of Christmas, what the heck happened to me?
Three Ingrown Toe Nails (on my kiddo), two bedazzled gloves and a kitty in my Bradford Pear Tree.
On the Fourth Day of Christmas, what the heck happened to me?
Four (hundred) robo-calls I ignored, three ingrown toenails, two bedazzled gloves and a kitty in my Bradford Pear Tree.
On the Fifth Day of Christmas, what the heck happened to me?
Five Ginger Ferals!
Four robo-calls I ignored, three ingrown toenails, two bedazzled gloves and a kitty in my Bradford Pear Tree.
On the Sixth Day of Christmas, what the heck happened to me?
Six peanut butter crackers, five ginger ferals, four robo-calls I ignored, three ingrown toenails, two bedazzled gloves and a kitty in my Bradford Pear Tree.
On the Seventh Day of Christmas, what the heck happened to me?
Seven Seasons of Sons of Anarchy (binge-watched), six peanut butter crackers, five ginger ferals, four robo-calls I ignored, three ingrown toenails, two bedazzled gloves and a kitty in my Bradford Pear Tree.
On the Eighth Day of Christmas, what the heck happened to me?
An eight-legged spider, seven seasons of Sons of Anarchy, six peanut butter crackers, five ginger ferals, four robo-calls I ignored, three ingrown toenails, two bedazzled gloves and a kitty in my Bradford Pear Tree.
On the Ninth Day of Christmas, what the heck happened to me?
Nine Lady Parts Departing
Not really. Just three.
On the Tenth Day of Christmas, what the heck happened to me?
Ten Oxycontin
You’re all so pretty!
On the Eleventh Day of Christmas, what the heck happened to me?
Eleven Gripers Griping
Thanks, Satan’s Butthole!
On the Twelfth Day of Christmas, what the heck happened to me?
Twelve Bloggers Blogging…thank you!
…Eleven gripers griping, ten oxycontin, nine lady parts departing, an eight-legged spider, seven seasons of Sons of Anarchy, six peanut butter crackers, five ginger ferals, four robo-calls I ignored, three ingrown toenails, two bedazzled gloves and a kitty in my Bradford Pear Tree!
Stay weird, my friends. Normal is boring!
Allen T. St. Clair says
December 14, 2018 at 2:47 amFirst of all–hilarious. Second of all, thanks for the shout-out, my frand! Hope your holiday season is going marvelously!
Kat says
December 14, 2018 at 7:52 amIt has been a good one so far, Allen! Thanks, Fren!
Rivergirl1211 says
December 14, 2018 at 5:15 amLove it!!
Although you had me gasping at the nine lady parts, I was feeling woefully inadequate that I only had 3 removed.
And thanks for the shout out. I’m thrilled to have made the song!
Kat says
December 14, 2018 at 7:53 amYeah…nine Lady Parts would be pretty spectacular! LOL.
MamaTrek says
December 14, 2018 at 6:10 amMerry heckin’ Christmas!
Kat says
December 14, 2018 at 7:53 amMerry heckin’ Christmas to you too!
Lutheranliar says
December 16, 2018 at 11:18 amNow you’ve done it. I can’t get that danged song out of my darned mind! At least your lyrics are better. ‘Five Ginger Ferals’ indeed!
Kat says
December 16, 2018 at 6:24 pmThanks for reading! 🙂
Lorna @ Gin & Lemonade says
December 16, 2018 at 11:22 amLike Alice, I’m singing this now!
Kat says
December 16, 2018 at 6:24 pmLOL. I am too. 🙂
Judy says
December 16, 2018 at 8:28 pmAmazing my friend… simply AMAZING. Merry Christmas and blessings to you and your family.
Love,
Judy
Kat says
December 17, 2018 at 8:03 amMerry Christmas, Judy! Love and miss you!
Nova says
December 29, 2018 at 5:53 ammerry heckmas!! and thank you for the shout out. hope the new year brings you some peace… or at least more crackers.
Kat says
December 31, 2018 at 12:22 pmThank you! Merry Heckmas!