Artistic F Bombs, Poop, And Unwelcome Mats

I’ve noticed for a while now, but especially since I started this blog, that people actually encourage, and you might say, enable my potty mouth habit. My friends who don’t curse much, if any, even do it. It’s like their inner sailor is living vicariously through my potty mouth.

Case in point: people are constantly sending me links to novelties with curse words on them or with my brand of sarcasm. Let me tell you, there is some really funny, really effed up shit out there.

I wish I could own it all.

I feel like I owe it to my mother at this point to let you all know that she really tried hard to raise me to be a lady. She didn’t approve of cussing at the drop of a hat, though she did tolerate my father, whose potty mouth knew no bounds. She absolutely forbade the f-bomb in our house, though, and I never heard my father say that word, which makes it all the more ironic that it’s my go-to curse word.

In the end, I suppose my father’s influence or genetics won out and I became the “Angel Who Swears” that you have come to know today.

In any case, since it’s “Friday Fun-Day” as The Husband Dude calls it, I thought I’d share with you all some of the best that have been sent to me.

If you’re interested in buying any of these items yourself, I’ve turned all the pictures into links to the places you can buy them. Just click the photo!

Fuck This Shit

Yes. That’s right. A pillow with a  lovely floral pattern that says, “Fuck This Shit”. Every Angel Who Swears needs this, don’t you think?

 

I pretty much love everything this artist, Cynthia F, had on her Society 6 store page, but here’s another of my favorites because I’m pretty sure I say this at least twenty times a day. Do you think they would fire me if I took this to work?

Domestic Diva

Then there are those of us who like to have a sense of humor in the kitchen. Check out these oven mitts:

And then there are the dish towels:

Because Samuel L. Jackson Said So

If you’re a fan of Pulp Fiction, or just Samuel L. Jackson in general, you’ll appreciate this next little gem:

If you have no idea what that means, here’s a clip from the movie (my apologies if the G-D word offends you).

Maybe I just have a really dark sense of humor, but I can’t help but laugh at the fact that John Travolta and Samuel L. Jackson are covered in some guy’s blood and brains and they’re commenting about the coffee like they’re at Bridge Club or something.

Yes, I know. I’m kind of weird that way.

It’s A Poop Thing

After I wrote my post about The Husband Dude buying me the poop hat at The Fair, you wouldn’t believe all the poop stuff people have referred me to or outright gave to me. I’m very appreciative. I have a very juvenile sense of humor, so I’m good with farts, poop, and any other crude humor. I just never thought there would be a day when a friend would say, “My boyfriend got this as a gift and I had to give it to you.”

This next item made me laugh, not so much because it was a poop novelty, but because someone actually thought to themselves, “I’m going to create these string lights and I want to offer people choices.”

Here are the choices:

Cute little multi-colored lightbulbs…

Cute little acorns….awwww….

Aaaaaand….poop!

Seriously, how does one come up with these random choices???

Ummm…Welcome…?

Be honest. Am I the only person who grew up in a house where we all had to be quiet and pretend nobody was home when the doorbell rang? Yes? I figured…

In all seriousness, I grew up in a house with a small patio type entrance out front that had a gate on it that my Dad kept locked all the time. We would go in and out through the garage door and the only time he unlocked the gate was when we were actually expecting invited company.

The doorbell was next to the front door, which was inside the locked gate. If somebody wanted to try to get our attention, they would have to rattle the gate and that’s when we all went into stealth mode until they went away.

My parents hated uninvited company like most people hate fleas and ticks. I’m pretty sure my dad would’ve built a moat around the house if he could have.

That’s why this front door mat made me laugh:

If I’m being 100% honest, this is how I feel a lot of the time too. Apparently, it’s genetic.

I created my own door mats a while back that aren’t quite as blunt…

Oh  well. I did my best!

Stay weird, my friends. Normal is boring!