Saturday Throwback

Not long ago, I came across an old Facebook post that made me smile and made me tear up a little too. Do you remember Facebook notes?  They were sort of a place to write short blogs back when Facebook really limited the characters you could use in a status.

I wrote this post as a satire of those Christmas letters people like to send out on an annual basis, where they tell you how everyone is doing and how much better their kid is doing in school than yours or how fantastic their last vacation was. It’s incredible how much life has changed in eight short years. The kids were all really young, The Husband Dude and I had reconciled and were living together but were not yet remarried, and my Mom was still alive. Our old cat, Monty, and dog, Cleo, were still with us. 

I even noticed that a good friend who has since passed away commented on the post. It made me happy and sad all at the same time to see her there, “speaking” to me.

Anyway, I thought this would be fun to share. I have edited it slightly as the original post mentions some family members who are no longer in my life (long story) and haven’t given consent to be mentioned. If I were writing it now, I’d probably edit it further and change up some of the wording. I decided, though, to leave the majority of it as I wrote it then, because it gives a snapshot of who I was at that time.

Enjoy and have a great weekend!

May 24, 2009

Dear Friends and Family,

Can you believe it has been almost six months since my Christmas letter? I bet you thought you would get to have to wait until the end of the year again!

Well, what can I say except that it has been an exceptionally wet year. We recently capped off twenty straight days of rain here in the Tulsa area. While it keeps my job very secure for rain, wind, hail, and lightning to continue, I was seriously considering building an ark.

The only problem with that is that Shane could probably build a better one with Legos. I have no talent with a hammer and nails. Plus, we wouldn’t exactly be well equipped in the animal department. I only have one old neutered cat and both of my dogs are spayed. Pretty much all species of anything would die out if I were left in charge.

THD is adjusting well to his second layoff retirement. He is actually working part time at Shane’s school and is able to volunteer for other fun stuff like cafeteria duty and field trips. Yes, I’m living with the male, rocker version of the Cafeteria Lady.

On the upside, I usually have dinner waiting for me when I get home from work. I never knew there were so many recipes that call for mac and cheese and ramen noodles.

When he isn’t busy wrangling kindergarteners, my Man is truly the protector of our domain. All the rain has driven the ants inside this season and our house has become a haven for the little buggars.

One thing about THD is, when he sets his mind to something, there is no deterring him from his mission.

He has made killing ants his mission.

At one point, after a partciularly frustrating day of fighting off the little red menace, I looked out the window to see him shirtless, spraying down the outside perimeter of the house with a HUGE jug of something toxic and screaming in some guttural caveman language only another man would understand. The only way to describe it is to have you watch Rambo and picture Sylvester Stallone holding a machine gun in one hand, feeding bullets into it with the other.

Except THD is taller, harrier, and only half Italian.

I am proud to say that Shane has been promoted from Kinder to First Grade. Not that I was worried, but as a Mom, you always have that nagging doubt in the back of your head making you wonder, “Is he REALLY smart or am I just biased? Is he going to be the next Albert Einstein or that kid in Parenthood that puts a bucket on his head and runs into the nearest tree?”

Luckily, I think he falls somewhere in between, which is just fine with me. It amazes me how on a daily basis he reminds me of his father. Just the other day, he stood in the middle of his bedroom wearing nothing but his Power Rangers undershorts and was beating ants with his magnadoodle. It makes a mother proud.

God Bless my mother. I think she’s a candidate for sainthood. Not because she has performed any miracles but because after 35 years of teaching (32 of which were in middle school), and after 41 years of my brother’s depression/mania/OCD/neurosis, she still manages to maintain her own sanity.

Having such conversations as, “X, you really don’t need to paint the same wall three times” or “Put the hammer down and tell your boss you quit” have not driven her over the edge. All this while having her own health issues…well, I suppose that qualifies for a miracle, doesn’t it???

Ben and Kim are both doing great. We don’t see them as often as we’d like but lets face it…two kids in their 20’s really don’t want to hang around the old folks and watch COPS on Saturday night.

Shane sure loves it when his big brother and sissy hang around, though. After a recent baseball game, Shane tried to be the matchmaker and told the waiter, “I’d like you to meet my sister, Kim.” I don’t know who turned the brighter shade of red…Kim or the waiter.

Shane loves going to Ben’s house because it’s a real man-haven. A bunch of young dudes in their 20’s with a TV the size of a living room wall and all the X-box games one can play. Come to think of it, THD loves to go to Ben’s house too…

Work continues to be work. Nothing will ever change. The skies will continue to open up and hail on us and water heaters will continue to burst and flood the finished basement with all the collectible and antiques in it.

People will continue to leave their $10,000 engagement rings in their cars for someone to take and houses that are about to be foreclosed on will continue to go up in smoke. Lightning will continue to zap the 60″ TV but miss the toaster on the same breaker.

Two year olds will run through the house with a bottle of bleach on the old nasty carpet and fires will burn the mysterious pile of clothes in the bedroom, follow the pile of clothes to the kitchen and burn the pile of rags there next to the empty gas can.

But I still have a job. I still get a paycheck. I have a house. I have two cars that run. I have mac and cheese and ramen noodles on my table.

I have an ant farm behind my kitchen garbage can. I have a grouchy old cat whose breath smells like something crawled in his mouth and died. I have two dogs that enjoy eating up the wood siding on the shed and are digging a hole to China.

I have a beautiful son who loves to eat Happy Meals and play Wii and tells me he loves me without provocation. I have a great life partner who drives me absolutely insane with his ADD and his inability to allow me to finish a sentence without interrupting but who brings me flowers at work and drops everything to dance with me when our song comes on the radio.

And he sings it to me completely out of tune.

Life is good.

Much love,

Kat

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