I’m Sorry I Make You Drink

For those keeping track, Mother’s Day is only a few weeks away (May 12, y’all).

Some of you are still lucky enough to have your moms. I, unfortunately, am not. Sometimes this Hallmark Holiday can be difficult for me and other years are not so bad. I can often get distracted with the fact that I, too, am a mother (and grandmother) now so when my family spoils me, it helps!

This year, I was starting to feel like it might be one of the low years, where I can’t shake the feeling that something is missing and that I am somehow missing out on something I should still have. I decided to pour that energy into two things I do best…writing and sarcasm.

I thought about Mother’s Day cards I had given my mom over the years and how most of the ones you find at the store are really sappy or silly. For a while, when I went through a scapbooking phase, I made all of my own greeting cards. I’d use my writing skills to come up with something funny or sarcastic and they were usually a big hit. Mom saved all the cards I made for her.

So when I started feeling that “I’m going to feel sorry for myself this year” bug, I decided to get to work. I don’t make handmade cards anymore, but I do have my Zazzle shop, and I decided to create some funny cards that other people can give to their moms.

I hope you’ll pardon the blatant advertising for my shop and enjoy the cards I created. My mom would’ve really snickered at some of these.

If you like one, just click on the photo and it’ll take you to my shop, where you can order one. The inside of the card is blank for your own personalized apology message.

I’m Sorry I Make You Drink

I’m Sorry I Gave You Stretch Marks

I’m Sorry I Gave You Gray Hair

I’m Sorry I Was So Hard To Raise. At Least Your Grandkids Are Pretty!

Thank You For Not Killing Me When I Was A Teenager

I’m Sorry For All The Migraines I Gave You

Stay weird, my friends. Normal is boring!