Hi Friends. This last week was a rough one for a lot of people I know and my day job was no picnic either. It seems the holiday
psychosis “cheer” has started early and everyone I talk to these days is just in a bad mood.
And we’ve only just begun.
Anyway, one of the
annoyances newer traditions of Christmas is the whole Elf on a Shelf thing.
Because, you know, it’s not creepy enough to have actual Christmas carols that talk about Santa seeing you when you’re sleeping and seeing you when you’re awake. Now we’ve added a whole new stalker to the situation in the form of a creepy little elf who moves around and gets into mischief while the kiddies are sleeping and tattles to Santa if they misbehave. Funny, my parents didn’t have to threaten us with Santa OR an Elf. One look from my mother was all it took.
Thankfully, I never had to deal with it. I mean, I’m doing well most years to actually get all my decorations out and get gifts wrapped by Christmas morning. I can’t imagine having to come up with new and creative situations to put a fucking doll in so that my kid can think he moves around on his own. But worse than that, imagine forgetting three days in a row and being THAT parent while your child goes to school and compares notes with his friends.
I could say so much more on that particular topic, but I couldn’t say it any better than Jen Mann over at People I Want To Punch in the Throat. Her blog is hilarious, by the way, and my snarky wit is no match for hers. Her first viral post was exactly about
Creep Elf on a Shelf, so here’s a link if you’d like to read her take on the subject.
In that spirit, I’m off to pour myself a drink and get some decorating done. I’ll leave you with a wrap-up of what has been going on the last couple of weeks.
Facebook Knows Me Too Well
You know those Facebook “tests” you take where you fill out some questions and they tell you something about yourself? Or sometimes you just click on it and the bots read your profile and yield a result from that? I took one recently and this was the result:
I don’t really need new ones but a matching set would be nice.
Squirrels Need Panties
They recently opened a very cool store here in Broken Arrow, called Rocket Fizz. They have a ton of different kinds of soda (they call it “pop” here but I just can’t bring myself to call it that…in Texas we call everything Coke, even if it isn’t actually Coke. Kind of like calling all tissues “Kleenex” or all slow cookers “crock pots”.) They also sell a lot of retro stuff like tin signs and rock posters. But possibly the best thing I found for sale was this:
Yes, this is an actual tiny pair of pink panties.
For girl squirrels.
I think I need these. I may be going back.
A Mother Knows a Nose
How weird is it that one of Shane’s friends has this as her Instagram profile picture and I instantly recognized it as Shane’s nose and mouth?
I look at this and I have so many questions, but then I remember that they’re fifteen and then I’m like, “No, I’m good. I don’t want to know.”
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