Friday’s Nuggets

It’s Friday! If you made it to today in one piece, give yourself a pat on the back.

Yes, there are tough weeks, but I try to glean little nuggets that I can take away so that I don’t feel the whole week was a waste. Here are my nuggets from this week.

It’s Five O’clock Somewhere

Nugget number one is that margaritas in the pool are great, but maybe not so much on a Sunday evening before I have to go back to work the next day.

I’m seriously too old for that crap.

I couldn’t help myself, though. Our daughter, son-in-law, and granddaughters came over to celebrate Father’s Day. Per The Husband Dude’s request, we ate fried chicken and then took a dip in our  pool.

Cousin Judy turned me on to Jose Cuervo pre-mixed margaritas, so I had stopped at the liquor store and picked up two flavors: Watermelon and Strawberry-Lime. Add some limes and margarita salt, and it’s mmm-mmm-good!

He did warn me, though, that you start off all lady-like, drinking out of a cup, but they’re so good that by the end of the evening, you’re just drinking straight from the bottle.

He’s not wrong.

Here’s the problem, though. You know that song where they say, “Tequila makes my clothes fall off”?

Yeah, well, tequila just makes me loud.

Ok, louder than normal.

And apparently it makes me yell “SEX! SEX! SEX!” toward the backyard neighbor’s house in retaliation for having to listen to them chilling in their hot tub at eleven-thirty p.m. on weeknights and hearing their many, many, many conversations from our bedroom where we are trying to sleep.

Not to mention having to look at their redneck bug zapper on a bright orange extension cord. Remember that?

I also learned where our entire family’s priorities lie. We were trying to take a selfie by the pool when Molly, our oldest granddaughter, shot us with water from her water gun and we all screamed, “Not in the drinks!” instead of “Not on the brand new Samsung phone!”

Jessie’s Girl

I learned that a really great way to embarrass you’re almost sixteen year old teenage son is by singing along with Rick Springfield at the top of your lungs to Jessie’s Girl.

The most embarrassing lines?

And she’s watching him with those eyes

And she’s loving him with that body, I just know it

Yeah. Just what every red-blooded American boy wants to hear his mother singing in traffic in Broken Arrow, Oklahoma.

That’s the stuff.

And then of course, it reminded me of this old Ben Stiller and Edward Norton movie Keeping The Faith where they play a rabbi and priest, respectively, and I had to look up this scene on YouTube because it just cracks me up every time:

They Stole My Idea

Remember when I blogged about suggestions to the company and one of them was a taco truck?

We got an email this week that they are going to bring food trucks to the office to try them out.

They stole my idea!

Except it’s not a taco truck.

And it’s on Thursdays instead of Tuesdays.

And there are no margaritas.

A Farewell To Arms…er…uh…Lady Parts

And finally, I learned this week that I’m going to have to have a hysterectomy.

Apparently, my uterus is really good at growing five pound five ounce babies and softball sized fibroid tumors. Since my baby making days are over, the doctor has recommended yanking the baby maker. Because of my family history, I’ve recommended to HER that she also remove my ovaries.

They refuse to die anyway, so I’m just going to put them out of my misery.

The doctor had a slot available on her next surgery date, which is this next Tuesday, so as things usually happen with me, we’re moving fast.

The good news is, I’ll be off work from my day job for at least six weeks. Yes, that’s right. I’d much rather have a major surgery than go to work.

It’s complicated.

I’m going to use the time to catch up on sleep, write, design for my Zazzle shop, snuggle my fur babies and grandbabies, and with any luck, find new ways to embarrass the teenager.

As far as the blog is concerned, I’m hoping to get some posts written and scheduled to publish this next week so that you still have something to read and I don’t have to try to write while high as a kite.

Although, let’s be honest, that could be quite entertaining!

Regardless, I want to take this moment to welcome all my new readers and tell you all again how very much I appreciate you all. If not for you, I would have no reason to post all the bizarre stories that fall out of my brain.

Until next time, stay weird, my friends. Normal is boring!