How to Waste Time on Friday

I spent three hours last night writing a blog post, uploading and editing pictures, and getting ready to publish for today.

Then I read it one last time and it was total crap. It sounded a lot funnier in my head than it ended up being on the page. Of course, some might argue that’s true of ALL my blog posts but clearly this one was a big turd because I ended up deleting all of it.

So frustrating!

I really wanted to have a post up before the weekend. I decided what better way to mark the weekend than to review some of the best ways to waste the last thirty minutes on a Friday at work? Some of these may or may not be based on personal experience and others are based on my observations of others.

Choose one and try it out today! My apologies to employers everywhere…

Go to the bathroom and hide. I used to have a guy on my team that turned this into an art form. His shift ended at 5:30 every day. Like clockwork, at 5:05, he disappeared from his desk. When other coworkers started making comments about seeing him hiding in the restroom, he got smart slightly more “clever” and started using the restroom on the first floor instead of up on the second floor where we were. Magically, at 5:27, he’d appear back at his desk and sign out of his computer. If the boss happened to be gone, his restroom sabbatical would usually start at 4:45. If the boss happened to be gone all day, you just knew this guy was going to be taking thirty minute breaks away from all he internet surfing he was doing. You know, because shopping on BestBuy.com is tiring.

Go stare at the vending machine. Like, I know I don’t need any flaming hot Cheetos right now because I’m going home in a few minutes and eating dinner, but consuming 250 extra calories and having diarrhea later just seems like a better idea than answering phones.

Practical jokes. I’ve witnessed some good ones over the years. When you’re on a later shift, there’s a slight resentment  good-natured fondness for those who have earlier shifts. Passive-Aggressiveness is the calling card of an office worker, so I guess practical jokes on those who have already left for the day are just par for the course. I’ve witnessed everything from totally rearranging an OCD coworker’s desk, to setting up a fake video camera to make it look like someone was being “watched”.

Sometimes the jokes aren’t just reserved for late hours of the day. We had an entire team buy a doorbell and hide it in their boss’ office. A couple of the team members had the buttons hidden at their desks and randomly pushed them throughout the day. It took days for the supervisor to finally find the chime hidden in his office.

Just don’t take it too far, like the guy who got fired when he was in training at Corporate and decided to get drunk and pay a personal visit to the CEO. That’s a quick ticket to the unemployment line.

Here’s some inspiration if you need it.

 

And finally, my personal favorite. Anybody know where I can get a bear? I want to try this!

Stay weird, my friends. Normal is boring!

In case you missed it, read my post about things to love/hate about the office.