MEMO: To the C.E.O. of Satan’s Butthole From: Kat (former peon at Satan’s Butthole) Dear Sir, I know, I know. I don’t work for you anymore, and yet here I am, writing to you again on behalf of all the tortured souls who still do. Let us have a moment of silence for the overworked […]
Eff It Friday – Shit My Boss Says Edition
It has been a week. I’m tired. This is my day job’s busy season. While that’s a good thing in terms of my paycheck, it does wear a person out. It has left me without much patience, though, which would explain my behavior earlier this week. As I was leaving work for a pedicure very […]
Conversation With My Computer (Volume 3)
Me: Open claim. Computer: Me: Hello! Are you there??? Computer: Huh? What? Me: Wakey, wakey! It’s work time! Happy Monday! I need you to open a claim. Computer: Me: Really??? Computer: Did you say something? Me: Yes! I need you to open a claim. Computer: Me: Are you kidding me right now??? Computer: Dude, chill out. We’ll get going here in a minute. […]
Memo To The C.E.O. Re: Sick Day
MEMO TO: C.E.O. of Satan’s Butthole FROM: Kat (former peon and doormat) Dear Sir, As I woke up this morning with a head more congested than I-35 in Dallas during rush hour, with lanes shut down for construction (which, incidentally, is ALL THE FUCKING TIME), I got that gnawing feeling in the back of my […]
The Imbecile Apocalypse
If there’s one thing working with the public and the internet have taught me, it’s that we are completely de-evolving as a species and the “stupidity” gene is much more dominant than the “intelligence” gene. I don’t think we’re going to have a zombie apocalypse that will wipe out humanity as we know it. I […]
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