Me: * Dials the pharmacy number *
Phone Robot: Thank you for calling XYZ Pharmacy. Please say briefly what you are calling about.
Me: Refill.
PR: (long pause) Ok. You need a refill. Please say or type your RX number.
Me: One Two Three Four Five Six
PR: (long pause) Ok. Let me search for that prescription. (Long pause) Sorry. We can’t find that one. Please say or type your RX number.
Me: (dialing on the keypad) One Two Three Four Five Six.
PR: (long pause) Ok. Let me search for that prescription. (Long pause) Sorry. We can’t find that one. Please say or type your RX number or if you don’t have it, say “I don’t have it.”
Me: I don’t have it.
PR: (long pause) Ok. Please hold while we transfer you to a Pharmacy representative.
Me:
After twenty minutes on hold:
Me (two hours later): * Dials the pharmacy number *
Phone Robot: Thank you for calling XYZ Pharmacy. Please say briefly what you are calling about.
Me: Refill.
PR: (long pause) Ok. You need a refill. Please say or type your RX number.
Me: One Two Three Four Five Six
PR: (long pause) Ok. Let me search for that prescription. (Long pause) Sorry. We can’t find that one. Please say or type your RX number.
Me: (dialing on the keypad) One Two Three Four Five Six.
PR: (long pause) Ok. Let me search for that prescription. (Long pause) Sorry. We can’t find that one. Please say or type your RX number or if you don’t have it, say “I don’t have it.”
Me: I don’t have it.
PR: (long pause) Ok. Please hold while we transfer you to a Pharmacy representative.
Me:
Me: (after twenty minutes)
Me (two hours later): * Dials the pharmacy number *
Phone Robot: Thank you for calling XYZ Pharmacy. Please say briefly what you are calling about.
Me: Actual live person.
PR: (long pause) Sorry. I didn’t get that. Please say what you are calling about. For example, say “refill” or “store”.
Me: Store.
PR: (long pause) Please hold while we transfer you to a store representative.
Me:
Store Representative: Thank you for calling XYZ Pharmacy. How may I help you?
Me: Wait…are you a real person?
SR: Ummmm…yes?
Me: Okay…this is great! I’ve been trying to refill my prescription…
SR: Oh. Let me transfer you to the pharmacy…
Me: NO!!!! I need you to know that I’ve called twice and been on hold twenty minutes each time. Is there any way you can make a person to person transfer to AN ACTUAL PERSON in the pharmacy?
SR: Sure! Let me just find someone. (puts me on hold)
Me:
SR: Ma’am? I’m going to transfer you over to someone, okay?
Me: Great! Thank you!
*Phone clicks a couple of times*
Phone Robot: Thank you for calling XYZ Pharmacy. Please say what you are calling about.
Me: DAMNIT!!! I JUST NEED A FUCKING PRESCRIPTION!!!
PR: Maybe you need more cowbell…
Me:
Stay weird, my friends. Normal is boring.
M.L. James says
November 1, 2019 at 12:32 amKat,
Why meds when all you really need is cowbell! Face it, technology is hell and we’re in it! Happy post Halloween! Mona
Kat says
November 1, 2019 at 10:56 amIt’s hell alright!
ernie says
November 1, 2019 at 5:12 amI HATE that! Why can they not have ‘speak to an agent’ or a living, breathing human being as one of their options? I don’t get this pharmacy thing where they send meds in the mail. I am never sure where to call to refill or ask questions because all the prescriptions come from different places. I get constant text message reminders on my phone for my freshman in college’s acne medication. He does not want it right now, but I live in fear of not knowing how to reach back out to them if the day comes when he wants the damn prescription filled. So, I live with text reminders out the ass which is pleasant.
Oh, the cowbell. Good stuff. I made a grad video for my son’s high school graduation party. I took a clip of my kids pretending to be a band when they were REALLY little for my oldest son’s book report (since when can they not just write a summary about the book?). I dubbed the music in to match the cowbell skit and then the ‘needs more cowbell’ voice. It was hysterical!!!
Kat says
November 1, 2019 at 10:57 amI’d love to see that video!
Rivergirl says
November 1, 2019 at 6:01 amBeen there, done that… have the dents in the wall to prove it. Nothing like modern technology… that’s supposed to make things easier for us… to drive you to drink. And occasionally, violence.
Kat says
November 1, 2019 at 10:57 amYes, violence was my next option…
MamaTrek says
November 1, 2019 at 6:18 amThis is why I get my meds 90 days at a time by mail. Saves me the hassle of having to deal with the pharmacy every month.
Kat says
November 1, 2019 at 10:58 amI do 90 days as well, but there was a glitch with my refill that required me to call…gotta love it!
Boo says
November 1, 2019 at 10:40 amBeen there done that.
EVERY
DAY
AT
WORK.
I hate menuland too!!!
Kat says
November 1, 2019 at 10:58 amSUCKS!!!
M.L. James says
November 1, 2019 at 10:58 amBoo, what’s menuland? Mona
Kat says
November 1, 2019 at 11:35 amMona, she means the phone menu where they say, “press one for…”